Victoria's Pride & Prejudice & Zombies Favorite Quotes

These quotes are all the more funny if you are already familiar with the original Pride and Prejudice!

“It is a truth universally acknowledged that a zombie in possession of brains must be in want of more brains.” (Chapter 1)

“‘Of course, of course!’ cried Mrs. Bennett. ‘They shall be as deadly as they are fetching!’” (Chapter 2)

“As guests fled in every direction, Mr. Bennett’s voice cut through the commotion. ‘Girls! Pentagram of Death!’”(Chapter 3)

[Miss Bingley to Mr. Darcy] “‘How pleasant it is to spend an evening in this way! I declare after all there is no enjoyment like reading!’ ‘Spoken like one who has never known the ecstasy of holding a still-beating heart in her hand,’ said Darcy.” (Chapter 11)

[After Mr. Collins asks which of his cousins made dinner] “Briefly forgetting her manners, Mary grabbed her fork and leapt from her chair onto the table. Lydia, who was seated nearest her, grabbed her ankle before she could dive at Mr. Collins and, presumably, stab him about the head and neck for such an insult. Jane and Elizabeth turned away so Mr. Collins would not see them laughing.” (Chapter 13)

“Mr. Bingley observed the desserts his poor servants had been attending to at the time of their demise—a delightful array of tarts, exotic fruits, and pies, sadly soiled by blood and brains, and thus unusable.” (Chapter 18)

[After Charlotte has caught the plague and is thus morphing into a zombie] “Apparently overcome with excitement, Charlotte dropped to the ground and began stuffing handfuls of crisp autumn leaves in her mouth.” (Chapter 28)

“Elizabeth’s courage did not fail her, even though she had been regaled the stories of Lady Catherine’s accomplishments from the time she had been old enough to hold her first dagger…but the presence of a woman who had slain ninety dreadfuls with nothing more than a rain-soaked envelope was an intimidating prospect indeed. (Chapter 29)

[After Mr. Darcy visits them more often than usual] “What remained of Charlotte would like to have believed this change the effect of love, and the object of that love her friend Eliza. She watched him…but without much success, for her thoughts often wandered to other subjects, such as the warm, succulent sensation of biting into a fresh brain.” (Chapter 32)

-Victoria