Skyeler's Sense and Sensibility Project

I chose to write a journal entry for my blog project. As you might have noticed by viewing the quiz results on the side, I can be very much like Marianne Dashwood. This being the case, I surprised most people, and wrote a journal entry from Elinor's point of view. It was quite an experience, trying to capture Elinor's emotions while not having too much of Marianne's drama, and still keeping the eloquent style of Jane Austen. Below is my entry; it was supposed to be written directly after Elinor learned from Lucy Steele of Edwards being engaged.

Late Evening

While visiting at Barton Park today, I met with the Miss Steeles. Lady Middleton had high praise of them, as both gave excessive attention to her children, and Sir John, as always, is fond of those who appreciate his camaraderie (however trivial it may be). Despite such commendation, I found their company considerably uncivil. Their manners were wanting, as was their intelligence. The younger Miss Steele, Lucy by name, spoke of Edward to me in the greatest confidence. Why do I write his name with any attention? He is engaged, as now I know.

Oh, why would he not tell me? How could he deduce that hiding such a relationship would become amiable in the slightest? I abhor such secrecy as it is meant to harm, and have not yet understood why he has chosen to use it against me. It is the nature of a woman to find offence in being an object of a man’s pleasure; a man presumed even as a gentleman!

And yet, perhaps Edward still remains a gentleman as I once presumed. I cannot believe he would use me for his own enjoyment; he is too respectable for such actions. Nay, he has done no wrong toward me! He was sworn to secrecy by Lucy, and trapped in his engagement. The circumstances being thus, how would he be able to reveal that information to me? He was not wrong in his dealings with me. Despite what I allowed my emotions to integrate, he never revealed his own as certain. He was an engaged man, and I perceived incorrectly. He will marry Lucy, as he should, and remain true to his honor. And I…I will be as if nothing ever existed between us.

And yet, even that is hard to believe. Though my mother and sister both possess rapid imaginations, even I believed him attached to myself. Despite his inability to pursue such an attachment, I would not have questioned that his attentions toward me implied a desire for a more intimate connection. Yes, I perceived him to be in love with me. I believe his love for me now! Oh, but now he is to be forced into an attachment with Lucy. How cruel! I admit to even feeling sorry for him; for Edward truly deserves better than that insipid, selfish girl. He will be bound by honor, and thus will he marry. Not for love, nor happiness, nor even wealth; but for honor. Such a gentleman does not warrant to be left to Lucy’s utilization.

Yes, I believe his honor to be one of his greatest attributions. But I must detain my hope for a life with him. How little I knew I ever desired it until now? I must let him keep to his nobility, and I will, somehow, be content.

Elinor Dashwood

I enjoyed writing this tremendously! Recording emotions into a journal is something I do rather frequently, and this gave me a good perspective on what it might be like to see through another's eyes; not only what they do, but what they feel. ~ Skyeler